metalupyourass

VIDEO PROOF.....

2008-07-08T16:41:00.003+01:00

......
....of fish all 3 of them.Flipper, Moby and Dick.

I,M BACK....

2008-07-05T15:24:00.000+01:00

...and so are the fish somehow

I WONDER.....

2008-06-01T08:52:00.000+01:00

......what the log book has on it for colour

FIRE..

2008-05-28T18:04:00.001+01:00

must of been a faulty ciggie lighter ...not!!!

FIRE..

2008-05-28T18:04:00.000+01:00

must of been a faulty ciggie lighter ...not!!!

BLOODY TYPICAL...

2008-05-25T06:30:00.000+01:00

....its the southend airshow today

LOOK AT THE SIZE....

2008-05-21T17:21:00.001+01:00

.....of my hosta

IT,S GETTING......

2008-05-15T17:32:00.001+01:00

......a bit rough around here.

HELP !!!

2008-05-11T06:55:00.000+01:00

it now blends in, but the water looks like pea soup..

YES ITS QUITE AGAIN

2008-04-30T17:26:00.001+01:00

read all my clarksons, done the crossword, bored..

BIG BOY IS BACK

2008-04-27T16:32:00.000+01:00

whens the next time i will use it?

B.....

2008-04-25T17:52:00.000+01:00

.....i said to her its easier if you get up first before you move the chair

YESTERDAY...

2008-04-23T16:21:00.000+01:00

.....now thats more like it a bit of global warming

I MUST GET THIS....

2008-04-19T13:59:00.000+01:00

...for martyn, it would bring a touch of colour to the pond area

I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT....

2008-04-17T16:37:00.003+01:00

its called the triumph american, comments please

MEET BRIAN..

2008-04-15T17:42:00.003+01:00

...our new pet, prehaps he might last longer than the hamster.

I'VE TURNED RELIGIOUS..

2008-04-12T13:47:00.002+01:00

..and started to read the bible

FOR MY FELLOW INTACAB DRIVERS..

2008-04-10T17:04:00.002+01:00

guess who i got today ?

SISTER TED

2008-04-08T17:22:00.003+01:00

is'nt she angelic...NOT !!!

THIS TIME LAST YEAR....

2008-04-06T07:21:00.002+01:00

.....i had a barbie!!!!!

CRAFTY SWINES....

2008-04-03T17:26:00.003+01:00

...its a unmarked police car, look close at the brake lights, theres a white oblong which flash,s blue and red if you have been a naughty boy

FOX, HEDGEHOG, WOMBAT ?????

2008-04-01T17:27:00.004+01:00

this hole has appeared in our garden, cannot work out whats dug it, answers on a postcard please...

EITHER B...is

2008-03-31T16:47:00.003+01:00

dead or she's playing with her phone.

THE DOUBLE DECKER....

2008-03-29T16:16:00.002Z

is for a wedding, its getting weirder round here

CRIKEY BRUCE !!!

2008-03-28T16:48:00.003Z

my fireplace has turned into ayers rock..

ITS A STRANGE WORLD WE LIVE IN

2008-03-26T17:45:00.003Z

20 years ago when we lived in plaistow i used to hold an account at this bank, i came across this at a farm in the middle of shotgate, freaky or what

TODAYS WEATHER FORECAST.....

2008-03-24T16:11:00.003Z

was dry with sunny spells....NOT !!!!

GLOBAL WARMING...

2008-03-23T09:57:00.003Z

Pah !!!!

HAPPY EASTER....

2008-03-23T09:17:00.002Z

..... No BBQ today folks

THE WHEELIE BIN

2008-03-22T14:18:00.003Z

very handy to have, trouble is in the high wind today its become a freewheeling bin

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

2008-03-21T14:17:00.002Z

Here's to you, cheers...hic

THIS SIGN....

2008-03-20T16:40:00.002Z

should be down whitmore way, i do seem to attract them

MY NEW WATER FEATURE...

2008-03-19T17:17:00.002Z

...i wish.. guess where ?

THE LATEST ADDITION...

2008-03-18T17:09:00.003Z

to Baz vegas, a 3,500 capacity night club. oh joy when that lot comes out 3.00am in the morning !

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY

2008-03-17T17:29:00.003Z

somebody has nicked half my pint

REMEMBER....

2008-03-16T13:01:00.004Z

....the pots the crescent gave us with little conifers in them, this one likes it here

I MUST BE MAD......

2008-03-15T16:04:00.001Z

05.15 everybody is in bed, nice and snug
and i,m looking for a fare, in this !!

THE BEAUTY OF.....

2008-03-13T16:57:00.001Z

....the basidon countryside , the weeping willow, the slow flowing brook, the discarded lager can and burger boxes !!

I'M SO CRUEL...

2008-03-12T17:33:00.000Z

convinced a 14yr schoolboy that it is a roman viaduct

STUPID BOY

2008-03-11T17:07:00.001Z

since when have faits beem made here (zoom in on chrome letters above and below number plate)

HURRICANE !!!!

2008-03-10T16:23:00.001Z

the eye of it is above basildon

GUESS WHERE,,,,,

2008-03-09T05:54:00.001Z

.....i got a fare to yesterday ?

CHRIS !!!

2008-03-09T05:50:00.001Z

..the bracket is for a hanging basket

YES IT IS A PARKING TICKET

2008-03-06T17:05:00.001Z

the council changed the disabled bay time limit dropped it from all day to 3 hours ,instant revenue

AS SEEN ON TOP GEAR

2008-03-04T17:11:00.001Z

how do these hilux stay together?

NIGEL....

2008-03-03T16:34:00.001Z

would you like the plate for your micra?

THE FIRST DINER

2008-03-02T14:37:00.001Z

a manky starling

THE BIRD TABLE

2008-03-02T14:28:00.001Z

made from the stair rail and the old computer work station

ABOUT......

2008-03-01T16:01:00.001Z

...3 months early, poor confused plants. thinking about getting a grape vine because of the climate change, imagine "plonk du whitmore"

VERY EARLY OR VERY LATE

2008-02-29T17:28:00.001Z

plus when has sponge bob whatshisname been a xmas feature

RAILWAY SQUARE

2008-02-27T16:32:00.001Z

i cannot remember which part tissie lived..any ideas ?

YES ..YES.. YES

2008-02-25T17:43:00.000Z

now for the U E F A cup come on you spurs......

THE DAY COMETH...

2008-02-24T10:31:00.000Z

this afternoon i will find out if i,m still in fathers will..

THE WHITMORE NUTTER

2008-02-22T17:02:00.001Z

everyday up and down the road pretending to be talking to someone on his mobile phone, think he might from maldon.....

A HITCHCOCK MOMMENT....

2008-02-21T16:54:00.001Z

....or is my brother up to his old tricks?

STRANGE TREE....

2008-02-19T16:37:00.000Z

look closely its got testicles !!

BRASS MONKEY'S

2008-02-18T17:32:00.001Z

bet martyn's freezing his cods off..

TUT ! TUT!

2008-02-17T05:50:00.001Z

the other day i picked up 2 gentlemen to take them to the station,one of them was proudly showing his photos of his wife and new born son, he showed me a picture of a rather large lady and a large baby.when we got to the station he went to put the photo's back in his case and the contents fell out,he stuffed everything back in hurriedly paid me and left. thats when i found this price tag, ok everyone has their thing ,but the garment was a size 8 !! tut..tut..

CANNOT WORK OUT...

2008-02-15T16:55:00.001Z

..if its 2 boys and a girl or 2 girls and a boy.

FARES,,,,LOTS OF FARES...

2008-02-13T17:03:00.001Z

poo! turned out they thought the taxi rank shelter was the coach stop..drat

THANK YOU EVERYBODY

2008-02-11T08:05:00.001Z

i've been a lucky boy

THATS MORE LIKE IT

2008-02-10T12:08:00.001Z

a proper winter morning, frost,sunshine most invigorating think i will have a ciggie

MALDON..

2008-02-09T15:48:00.000Z

i know there is some interbreeding in maldon. in basidon the regulations state 17 inches per bum on the back seat,in a fiesta i don't think so..look out for people with one buttock, they are from the blackwater area

WHAT NEXT ....

2008-02-08T17:28:00.001Z

C.H.i.Ps

IS IT ME OR.....

2008-02-07T16:45:00.001Z

...are things getting smaller. i'm sure clubs were bigger when i was younger, and as for wagon wheels..

SPRINGTIME IN WHITMORE

2008-02-06T16:44:00.001Z

poor confused daf,s its midwinter,if this global warming i want more of it

THATS STRANGE....

2008-02-05T17:33:00.001Z

.. as the lady got out the car her shoe fell off, instead of putting it back on she sped off and chucked the other one in the litter bin most odd

OUCH !!!!

2008-02-03T07:03:00.000Z

the end result of a night driver hitting the center barriers on the m11, the scary thing is the airbags did'nt work

YELLOW CARD LANE

2008-02-02T17:00:00.001Z

well at least two spurs players scored

RED SKY AT NIGHT.....

2008-02-01T16:55:00.000Z

man u delight? ...find out 17.00 tomorrow

I WANT SOME OF THIS..

2008-01-31T17:00:00.001Z

fed up with the wind and rain, saw a flight to corfu for £29.99 wonder if ellen would notice if i went?

I THINK...

2008-01-29T16:36:00.001Z

cass and her cat are getting a bit flash..(notice that both have a brake light out)

5 HOURS FROM NOW....

2008-01-27T10:59:00.001Z

i will be either thinking thats par for the course or how the hell did that happen? posted at 11.00am

DENISE VAN OUTEN

2008-01-26T16:34:00.001Z

i am really gutted i picked up denise van outen today and a friend, but was so tongue tied i could not ask her for a photo, so i took this she is the one on the right ....so gutted

HAPPY BURNS NIGHT

2008-01-25T17:56:00.001Z

could not catch a haggis, to darn fast..

I WONDER....

2008-01-24T16:47:00.001Z

if martyn can grow stuffed spuds? i would be impressed

YIPPEE!!

2008-01-23T16:21:00.001Z

bring on man u....mmm prehaps not this could be a dream

WINTER PANSY...

2008-01-22T16:42:00.001Z

grown by my fairhand,might try potatos this year.... wonder if martyn has a copyright?

OH DEAR...

2008-01-20T09:54:00.001Z

that number plate has devalued the car!

MARTYN .......

2008-01-19T15:41:00.001Z

..... don't watch the bottom program

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY....

2008-01-17T17:02:00.001Z

sausages £3.50 for 20 from abi's not bad eh!

NO WONDER.......

2008-01-14T16:52:00.000Z

......essex has a reputation check out the shoes!!!

BACK IN 1980....

2008-01-12T17:11:00.000Z

....i had to use one of these to get me to the city, when i lost 5th gear on my CB650 , the thing is it still took me the same time 35mins

THIS IS JADE..

2008-01-11T16:40:00.001Z

she works as a pole dancer at katz her real name is beryl jones not a name you would associcate with a pole dancer, also note black adder on the left

NOW THATS....

2008-01-09T18:36:00.001Z

...what i call a lump of cheese

A BILLERICAY RAINBOW

2008-01-07T19:03:00.001Z

no pot of gold i looked

A KIT CAR......

2008-01-05T15:54:00.001Z

....gone wrong

-2 c

2008-01-03T18:08:00.001Z

nothing stops bob having a ciggie..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008

2008-01-01T13:11:00.001Z

stroll on spring,BBQ's etc

STATUS B

2007-12-30T13:35:00.001Z

belynda doing her francis rossi bit

A BLAST FROM THE PAST

2007-12-29T11:25:00.001Z

yes me and my little mate are in touch again, photo taken in corfu this year

KEANO...

2007-12-27T07:04:00.001Z

thats more like it, plus his 2 goals and barrys at chelsea should help in the family league

CHEERS EVERYBODY

2007-12-26T08:47:00.001Z

LETS ROCK..

2007-12-25T08:47:00.001Z

nintendo wii guitar hero's 3 "hello wembley"

EITHER.....

2007-12-25T08:44:00.001Z

...my heads grown or my santa hat has shrunk..

SANTA,S BEEN BUSY....

2007-12-25T06:46:00.001Z

i think extra hours work in the new year is in order..

SOMETHINGS MISSING ?

2007-12-24T09:25:00.001Z

it should be two turtle doves.......jess!!!

06.00 hrs XMAS EVE...

2007-12-24T06:00:00.001Z

.... and ellen is still at work, think i will try the hornchurch thing of brandy and coffee...mmm very civilised

ITS XMAS.........

2007-12-21T13:39:00.001Z

started my holiday today...whiskey mac .... stella... hangover..doh

ANOTHER ANGEL

2007-12-18T18:43:00.001Z

think i will rename the house islington..